Freedom Living

They say you should confront the things in life that make you uncomfortable. I will be the first to tell you that this photo makes me so uncomfortable. I don’t even recognize that girl. This is not a side of Rachel that I am proud of. Not too many people know about this season of my life.

For as long as I can remember I have struggled with the person in the mirror looking back at me. This deep root of self-hatred began when I was very young. For a large portion of my life, I was an aspiring actress. I was absolutely in love with that art. I loved using my gifts to make people laugh, cry, and experience life through another’s eyes. Somewhere along the lines, my passion for acting was blurred with the pressure to fit the world’s standards of beautiful.

It began as a chronically self-conscious preteen skipping meals, crash dieting, and working out all the time. I knew that If I was to make it in the entertainment industry, then I had to be perfect. I thought  if I was thin, then I would be happy. The mirror was my worst enemy. Every time I looked into it, I only saw an abundance of flaws. No matter how small I was, I wanted to be smaller. I hated myself.

This toxic cycle developed into an eating disorder.  I was stuck in a cycle of restricting calories or binging and purging. I am so thankful that I had parents who were (and are) actively involved in my life. They realized what was going on early on and helped me work through it. It turns out that at that time, the entertainment industry was not a healthy place for me to be in.

Getting out of the entertainment industry helped. But, my issues lingered. I would either be eating all the wrong foods or be on a super restrictive diet. My digestive system was jacked up. I was stuck in this crazy limbo of eating junk food or being on crash diets. Diets that did not work.

I was desperate for answers. So I researching natural ways to get healthy. I became the queen of doing the latest natural diets and crazy cleanses. I tried being a vegetarian, apple cider vinegar cleanses, and a cleanse where I actually ate dirt. I cannot make this up y’all. It is a real thing…and a really nasty tasting cleanse. I was working out 6 days a week. I felt physically awful and was drinking a copious amount of coffee to compensate.  Still, I would lose about 10 pounds and then plateau. Nothing was working and I had  given up hope.

I ran into a family friend who told me about this holistic nutritional system she was using. In a desperate state, I decided to try it out. I was so skeptical. I thought that I was going to be just like everything else I had tried. After a couple of days of this nutrition I knew I was going to use this for the rest of my life. After three months of incorporating this nutrition in my life, I released 29 pounds and 35 inches of toxic fat without dieting.

More importantly I gained natural sustainable energy, a love for working out, a healthy relationship with food, and I got my life back. I found that food is not a coping method, it is a fuel for your body. When you give your body the proper nutrients, it comes alive. It’s an indescribable feel when your life is not controlled by food anymore. Jesus has opened my eyes to see myself in a different light. To see myself as His creation and to honor my temple by nourishing it, not starving it.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

If we are being honest, there is a part of me that wishes this chapter of my life was not there. I would rather not have photographic evidence of my body being in the worst state. I’ve discovered by sharing my story with others, I can help people who are in the same spot I was.

When I look at the girl on the left, I see someone who felt so utterly helpless. I know what it is like to feel trapped by your own body. I know the disappointment of following your workouts and diet plan perfectly and having the number on the scale stay the same. I know what it is like to lack the energy to accomplish what you need to do, much less enjoy your life. I know what it is like to look into the mirror and cry because no matter what you do, you still look the same. I also know that there is hope. Physical freedom is not some far off dream. It can actually be a reality. You were not created for a mediocre life.

Sometimes, I relapse. Sometimes, I feel like I am going to have a panic attack if I eat a meal. Sometimes, consuming food is really hard. Sometimes, I emotionally binge on food. I am so thankful to say “eating disorder” is something that defines my past and not my future. And those times of relapse are few and far between.

There is hope. The truth is, diets DON’T work. Nutritional cleansing literally transformed my life six and a half years ago. If someone would have told me that I would still doing this “shake thing” six years later, I would have voiced my concern for their sanity. I am not claiming this  can cure or heal anything….it’s just whole food that gets your body to an alkaline state. Your body was created to heal it’s self. This just put your body in the best state to do so! That is the magic. These products made my body come alive. They are the purest most nutrient dense super food on the planet (In my humble opinion). I not only consume this nutrition daily, my body craves it.

This nutrition changed my life. It sparked & deepened my love for nutrition and made me more aware of what I was putting into my body. It is the whole reason this blog really came into existence. This journey to find better health. It is one that never ends. I am on a mission to help as many people as I can experience this freedom.

XX

Rachel